Great-gramma and her beau used to do some serious clutching on her parents settee. That is when the old Puritans were in the kitchen churning butter. The small sofa is not all that conducive to spooning, but if you do things right …

The whole idea of what the Canadian’s call a Davenport originated in the early 1300’s, when some French-guy came up with a piece of furniture he called a “couche.” At that time, you could spoon on one of these things. As a matter of fact, in Frog-speak “coucher” actually means “to lie down.” The one big difference between a couch and the economy-sized model is best posed as a question:

Have you ever heard of a settee potato?

Simplicity

You can get all stylish; adding cushions, padded armrests and rocket engines, but we’re going to stay truly mission-style with the one below. The bulk of a settee consists of three pieces: Where you set your butt, rest your back and the legs to lift it from the floor. It’s somewhat like a park bench if the coach hid the steroids.

Arms are optional, as is the length of the unit. This one will accommodate two square pillows, but if you want a third cushion, measure and cut for the extra length. While oak will work, if you want to make one that will take on extra girth, go with an ipe wood or jatoba.

Stuff

The cut of the pieces of the wood, again, is for a pair of peeps. Go get:

• 4 posts that are 2¼-inches square by 34½-inches
• 3 rails that are 1-by-4-inches that are 52¼-inches long
• 13 slats, ½-inch-by-21¼-inches-by 5-inches
• A pair of cleats 51-inches long by 1-inch square
• 4 1-by-4’s that are 24¼-inches long

Get It Together

Set-out the slats and the rails, mortising all of them 5/8^th of an inch deep. As you see above, you’ve got the precise dimensions for this part. While you’re slicing-out the mortises, get them as square as you can.

Also, be aware, we’ve added an extra ½-inch to the posts so the corners can be sloped on the top ends.

Purchase some super-durable stainless steel nails to hammer into the posts where they criss-cross the rail tenons. Use standard wood glue to schlep the joints together. Clamp, let dry and finish it off with paint or stain. However, you can refrain from this if you use ipé. It ages much better than your great-gramma without an inch of rouge on her cheeks.

It almost seems as if Frank Lloyd Wright invented the mission style library table. His simplicity of structure in his furniture makes it an ideal piece for any interior. But guess again. This type of inside furnishing actually came about before America turned into a country. Invented between 1735–45, it was most likely put together using white oak.

So, what ya say we try our hands at making one of these undemanding, functional pieces of pre-Constitution furniture?

Stuff You’ll Need

You want to buy lumber that’s un-warped. Obviously. Take down this inventory of things you’ll need to order (then cut once you have whatever material you decide to use at home). While hardwoods can be rough on the tools, rest assured, the final product will last well-over 300-years by picking something high on the Janka Hardness Scale. The super wood known as ipe is about as tough as you can get. Be informed though, the table will be heavy if you employ ipe.

Table Saw Time

• The top will need to be 1-1/8^th-inches thick. Cut it down to a rectangle measuring 34-inches wide by 46-inches long.
• The shelf will need to be 7/8^th-of-an-inch thick. Cut it 42-inches by 22-inches.
• The side rails require a plank that’s 7/8^th-of-an-inch thick. All four of the pieces need to be cut 6-inches wide. Here’s the twist: Two should be 37-inches long, the other two need to be just 25-inches.
• The 2 stretchers, where the tenons of the shelf will be inserted, should be 1-1/8^th inches thick, 3-and-¾ inches wide and 25 inches long.
• The slats; you’re going to need to slice-up 10 of these. Their dimensions should be 5/8^th-of-an-inch thick. You’ll chop them to be 17-inches long and 1½-inches wide.
• The four keys need to be a ¾ of an inch thick, 2-and-7/8^th-inches long and 1¼ inches wide.

What it Will All Look Like

A lot of us are visual by nature. We want to see where everything goes. Well, there you have it. We’ll start first with the side view:

See, all of the measurements are right there. Now, we move to the front view which could likewise be the back view:

Details, Details

Glue the mission style table’s ends together right off-the-bat. Let the goo harden before inserting the tenons of the shelf. Place the side rails where they belong. Make sure you cut the mortise leaning toward perfection.

For the keyed tenons, the length of mortise should have be about 1/8^th of an inch more on the top. You’re doing this so the tenons can’t shift sideways. When it ages it shrinks and that shrinkage will rupture the shelf. You can always fill the gap with some flexible wood filler which will adjust for slippage.

Fasten the top in one of two ways: Hardware or wooden dowels. Your choice.

Staining it is also up to you. A water stain works well. Let it dry, give ‘er a soft sand-job and do it again if you haven’t gotten the right shade to your liking.

Lastly, it needs a good shellacking. Let it dry to the touch, do another light sanding number then take some thick, pasty car wax to polish it up. You probably will have to add the wax a few times.

Bingo! All done. Now if you could only show it to Frank Lloyd Wright. Actually, probably not him. He was known to be extremely cranky.

Happy Holidays!

Wood porch swings aren’t just for geezers. Romantic types will spend the early evening making googly-eyes at each other and even kids enjoy a good rock-and-forth on a wood porch swing.

You can buy one from you’re favorite Big Box hardware store, but unless you and anyone that joins you are over 150-pounds apiece, you’re probably purchasing an invitation to a trip on your bum when the seat has had enough of your weight.

Getting Underfoot

Our suggestion is to first see if the overhang on your porch can handle the weight. Test it up-to 1-thousand pounds. That way you can use some nice hardwood that may have put on a few pounds because of its grade.

And building it you want to create one that’s wide enough to comfortably seat 3-folks. Not a trio of string beans, people that have some meat on their bones.

You can buy some ready-made plans when you pick-up the wood, but you may need to make some modifications along the way.

Wood? What Kind?

The most imperishable wood is ipe wood. This stuff would survive an alien invasion. Other types could be jatoba or tigerwood. All three are stronger than Mighty Mouse.

Comfort

Square straight up-and down, side-to-side wood porch swings might work well for the purple guys from another galaxy, but us humans enjoy a touch of rounding where our knees hang over the seat. How long you make the butt-part is easy. Ask a few buddies and the spouse to sit in a kitchen chair. Measure the distance from their knees to their back.

The back support is key. You want it to roll gently from your shoulders to your bottom.

The pair of armrests should be the absolute correct height and length. Take out the tape measure and head over to your favorite chair in the house. Measure the armrests, making sure you add 4-inches to the final numbers. This way you have extra room to attach it to the back and seat of the swing. Once again, remember not to assemble the armrests in such a way that where your wrist sharply hangs-over the edge. Round and smooth is in.

For the frame, you’re using stainless steel bolts. For the slats, stainless steel nails. And why would you spring for the best? Because stainless steel will not cause discoloration of the wood.

Before assembling anything, stain and seal first. It’s a pain to do this once it’s finished. Any nicks or scratches can get a simple touch-up after the thing is put together.

Hanging it in the Heavens

You need help here. Mighty Mouse is off fighting Oil Can Harry. Just grab two of your neighbors.

Mark the spots that can take the additional weight. On the bench itself, you need to install 4 swing supports. Buy some heavy-duty chain that can handle a thousand pounds or more of stress.

Attach the chain to the swing first. It should be fastened securely on the back and front of the swing. Put ‘em in places where they’re a little out of the way,

Use enough of the metal so that when it’s folded in half, it’s going to hold the project. Measure and cut so that the bottom part is around 3½ to 4½ feet from the ground. Climb the ladder and measure with surgeon-like precision where the supporting hooks will be punched into the super-strong rafters.

You stay on the top rung. Have your buddies’ lift the swing while you fasten it in place on both sides.

Lunge toward the fridge, grab three cold ones and one at a time take your position on you new wood porch swing – watching the clouds as they pass over.

Ever get something from an Amish furniture store? You know the place. All of the handcrafted pieces are usually unfinished. Some are quite elaborate. A lot of them are simple, though. But, again what separates these homey furnishings from your basic showroom is they are not stained.

Once you get the table, chair, hutch or horse-drawn carriage back to your place, it’s obvious that it doesn’t fit in with all the stuff you’ve already collected. It needs a touch of vintage-isity.

Not only will this article apply to the Amish-made purchase. It could help you age-up a treasure you carted into your house from a Yard sale or Garage sale.

100 Years from Now – Today

The unfinished pieces from Amish-land will require some widespread sanding. Every nook-and-cranny has to feel the touch of tough love. Got a palm sander? Schlep some 120-grade paper in it. By doing this you’re opening the pores of the areas that are about to get a touch of antiquing. Finished with that part, dust it all with a tack rag.

On the other hand, with that sparkling new-old piece of hardwood furniture that you copped at the yard sale no wholesale sanding is required. No need to tear-off the surface on the Yard sale thang. You just want to make a few imperfections.

Let’s say what you have is already kinda old. It’s time for some dinging and denting the surfaces. Make it look natural and not as if you went crazy with a screwdriver or hammer. You can also do this on the unfinished wood. Just do it after you’ve first stained the piece.

Other suggestions to distress the surface:

• A heavy vase twisted a few times on the wood.
• A cast-iron pan slam.
• The tip of a warm iron.
• An old key.

Water rings are pretty easy. Just take that empty can of spinach you threw away last night and spritz some brown paint on the bottom. The lip should make a nice mark. Do a practice run on some scrap lumber to perfect your artistry. You can also let a cigarette make a burn mark on an edge.

Stains Make the Age Stick

All the abuse you’ve performed on that piece of furniture (that did nothing to deserve it) will pop once you apply some stain. If the unit has paint on it, still rub a coat of the substance on it. The shade is up to you. Amish-style – nude wood – as we mentioned earlier, stain the beast all over first. Wherever the future treasure came from let it fluid soak-in for a couple minutes before wiping-off the excess. Give it an overnight dry.

Next day, carefully dab some more stain on the imperfections. You might even opt for a small tin of a darker shade. Stay inside the lines, dents or whatever you’ve done to the surface. Have a rag on-hand to wipe up any goof-ups. You don’t want the imperfections to look as if it were lipstick applied to your mouth as you’re off-roading on your ATV.

Now that everything has had a few days to settle-in, give the furniture a tung-oil rubdown. It will protect the surface. It will not make it all shiny like a varnish would. After the wood has sponged-in the tung-oil, take some superfine steel wool, dipping it in some pasty car wax. After that part dries, buff it with a totally soft piece of natural fabric.